How to Approach an Online Sex Worker

Simple Etiquette Rules You Should Know

If you’re new to connecting with SWers—or even if you’re not—this guide will help you avoid common mistakes and start off on the right foot. Time is valuable, boundaries are essential, and respect goes a long way. Here’s how to approach an online sex worker and make a good first impression:

1. Be Direct and Get to the Point

Online sex work is typically first-paid, first-served. I don’t work on a “slow burn” introduction model unless that’s what you’re paying for. Messages like “Hi…” or “Hey there” with no follow-up? Likely to be ignored. If you want my time and attention, show me you value it.

Best first message:

“Hi Penny. I found you on CMD. I’m looking for a 10-minute cam show with a boss/employee roleplay. Are you available in the next 30 minutes?”

2. Be Patient

If I don’t answer right away, I’m probably busy, either with another client, off-screen, or not working at the moment.
Flooding me with messages won’t help. It’ll just make me less inclined to engage with you. One message is enough—then give me time to reply.

3. Don’t Lead with Honorifics

If we’ve never spoken before, don’t open with “Hello Mistress” or “Hey Goddess.”
You don’t know what kind of dynamic I’m offering, and I don’t know what you’re seeking. Let’s talk about that together, once we’ve made a connection. Start with something neutral.

4. I’m Not a Mind Reader

If you’re unsure what you want, that’s okay, but try to give something to work with. It’s hard to create a satisfying experience when someone calls in and expects me to “just know” what turns them on.

Also, don’t just launch into a scene without any context. Consent, communication, and clarity matter—even in a roleplay.

5. Say Goodbye

Whether it’s after a show or during a chat, just say bye.
If the vibe wasn’t right? Say so. If you finished and want to end the convo? That’s fine too. But leaving without a word can feel confusing. I’m then left wondering if it was a tech issue or something else. I know it’s not ALWAYS possible (if someone walks in on you, for example), but it’s definitely appreciated.

6. Don’t Offer Off-Platform Payment

I only accept payment through the adult platforms I work on.
Yes, I know you “want me to get 100%,” and I appreciate the sentiment, but those platforms provide privacy, tech infrastructure, marketing, and chargeback protection. I value the service they provide. Plus, virtually all of them forbid creators from taking business off-site. Likewise, if you started with me on one platform, and then find me on another, that’s fine. But don’t come on my Niteflirt and start asking if I have an OnlyFans (I don’t).

Asking me to break those rules risks my entire livelihood. Please don’t.

7. Don’t Try to Circumvent Site Rules

No, I won’t do illegal or forbidden content “just this once.”
No, I won’t “bend the rules” in a paid session.
If you switch gears mid-call to something that violates site Terms of Service, you will be blocked. It’s not personal—it’s business. And I’m not going to risk my business for anyone.

8. Don’t Send Dick Pics Without Permission (and Payment)

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Final Thoughts
Most of this boils down to one thing: respect.
Treat online sex workers like professionals. Communicate clearly. Follow the rules. And remember that behind the screen is a real human being running a business.

Got questions or looking to book a session? Start with a polite, direct message—and we’ll take it from there.